This is the last bit from the fifth prompt in my own list of self-guided writing prompts. I’m not sure if I’ll be participating during all of NaNoWriMo this year. If I do, it’ll be my first time taking part in this fun month of writing. I probably should be writing for #JHAD but something in me feels that it’s not the time to write his story yet. I might just do a bunch of short stories this month to start fleshing out work for my collection of short stories. Anyways, enjoy!

It’s now more than halfway through the film and he hasn’t done more than hug you close. You’ve forgotten the threat of him possibly sleeping with you tonight and instead, are deeply invested in the lives of the characters on screen. The little girl develops a strange relationship with the hitman; mistaking fatherly affection for romantic feelings. On the other hand, the man is unmoved by her affections, only beginning to realize within himself the capability to feel and to love. It’s so dark in the room and you can only make out the outlines of Joni’s legs outstretched beside you, half hidden under the covers. He’s been quiet this whole time. The silence is almost comforting to you and you slump lower down the wall and nuzzle his shoulder. In the distance, you hear sirens making their way through the restless city. Downstairs, a neighbor’s dog is barking at the multitude of cacophonous sounds outside the apartment building. Despite the hundreds of sounds flooding the room, the air falls silent between the two of you. There is a padding of mutual rest and company on the full bed where both of you lie. In this restless city, hundreds more people are watching a horror film with their partner of the night, waiting for their moment to strike and yet here you two are. Not a single tensed muscle occupies either of your bodies. You lay in the dark knowing that he’s just like you. Despite growing up and making his name here, he knows just as few people as you do. Despite the fact that you’ve been in this city for barely more than a few months, you know all of the people that you need to know already. It’s so lonely here and you realize that everyone gets busier and busier without having anything to show for it. The people here are too busy filling their time with things and places so that they won’t have to face the realization that no one is actually here. Heads and bodies float about this city, but their hearts are at home, elsewhere.

Right now, there is no home other than the last place that made you feel grateful to be alive. There is no home apart from the place that made you forget that life must move on. This isn’t home, but you’re doing the best you can. So is he. You fall asleep with homesickness in your chest and a fire in your belly, hoping that if you keep pushing through the density of this city, you’ll find a place to call home. You refuse to stay in a fabricated space. In the morning, you kiss him on the head and gather your belongings from last night. That will be the last night where you fall asleep alone. Tonight, you’re going home.